Searching for Halcyon Skies
by BlueCotingaGirl
Summary: Ciel, having fallen into severe depression, can't help but think that all that lies ahead is darkness and despair. Sebastian, having noticed, tries to help pick up the pieces of his broken heart, but it's easier said than done...Ciel/Sebastian, maybe
1. Chapter 1: Tribulation

**Hi!**

**I'm BlueCotingaGirl, and this is my first Kuroshitsuji fanfic. Before you start reading, there're some things you should probably know: Firstly, I've only known the series for about five days, so I might have made the characters a bit OOC. And I'm still unclear on the entire plotline since I haven't even finished the entire series yet. Secondly are the warnings for this story, which include some violence, major angst and depression-related themes. Also, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, which really sucks...**

**Other than that, I hope you enjoy my story!**

* * *

><p><em>Ciel looked around, wandering aimlessly in the darkness. The Earl couldn't tell where he was, or which way he was going; there was no choice but to move on forward...<em>

_Before long, though, he caught sight of some light shining through a tunnel. He went towards it, ending up in a grassy meadow. Up ahead, he was surprised by what he saw._

_"Mother? Father?" Ciel began to run towards his parents, but before he could reach them, something caused him to fall backwards. Confused, he stood and tried to walk further, but something just wouldn't let him..._

_"Wha-" Before he could even finish that first word, it grew uncomfortably hot. Ciel looked up and gasped as his entire world went up in flames. "NO! DON'T LEAVE ME!"_

_"Is something wrong, Ciel?" A voice behind him said, causing him to look back in fear; it was his father, wearing his usual smile. Ciel wanted to answer, but found himself falling through a dark void all of a sudden..._

_"Sebastian! H-help me!" He cried, but his freefall continued with no one to catch him..._

As a pounding noise on the window interruped the silence of midnight, Ciel shot up in bed, panting heavily. He calmed slightly when he realized that it was all just a terrible nightmare, and that he was safe in his room...for now...

Sighing, he pushed the covers off of himself and went over to the window, where he watched the rain as it fell. It was so cold outside that some of the raindrops froze before they shattered on the ground.

_Like my broken heart,_ thought Ciel. At the moment, he couldn't keep a single tear from slipping out of the corner of his eye, which he wiped away in frustration. As more tears began to fall, he decided to give in to his emotions.

As sullen as he was, he was also relieved to know that he was all alone, and that no one would have to see him like this. The last thing he needed was for someone to be onto him 24/7.

Slowly regaining control of his sanity, Ciel once again brushed the warm tears from his face. With nothing else to do, he decided to try and fall asleep again, only to find himself unable to do so. After several minutes of staring at the ceiling, he reached for a fountain pen on his nightstand and furiously threw it at the door.

"Stupid nightmares..." He muttered through clenched teeth. He reached for a strand of his midnight blue hair and began to twirl it around. While it eased him considerably, he couldn't stop thoughts of the near future from taking over his mind.

"Bocchan? Are you all right in there?" Ciel froze at the sound of the voice, seemingly hypnotized. He was still staring at the door when Sebastian turned the handle and stepped in, curious at what was going on. "I heard banging on the door. Is something bothering you?"

Ciel thought of saying, _It's my nightmares, Sebastian. They've been nagging me the entire night and I don't even know if I want to step out of the door for the next few days!_

"I'm fine." Was the reply he gave. "Now that I've said something, you may leave."

"Really."

"Sebastian, I want to be alone, so please get out of my sight. That's an order."

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian got up to go, but not before eyeing his master suspiciously and closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was sure Sebastian was out of earshot, he said, "No, Sebastian, I'm clearly not okay...!" He threw himself back onto his bed, just wanting this night to be over and done with.

But in the current gloom of the atmosphere, tomorrow wasn't coming that quickly.

* * *

><p><strong>That's about it for the first chapter. Since I've already got material down for the second chapter, that should be posted really soon after the first.<strong>

**In the meantime, reviews are greatly appreciated, so I'd be happy if you leave some ^^**

**-BlueCotingaGirl**


	2. Chapter 2: Memories

**Okay, here's the second chapter.  
>Once again, I don't own Black Butler. <strong>

* * *

><p>"Bocchan...it's time to wake up."<p>

"Uh-huh..." Ciel answered to show he was listening. He couldn't recall falling asleep that night, but he knew that he'd missed out on getting adequate rest; instead to sitting up right away, he mumbled, "Ten more minutes..."

_He's still a kid and all, but this isn't like him,_ Sebastian thought. He went over to the window and opened the curtains, but instead of the usual morning sun, there were dark clouds in the horizon; however, the butler remained unfazed, thinking they would clear up soon.

"Bocchan, your breakfast's getting cold. Either you get up now or eat Bardroy's flamethrower pastries later."

Reluctantly, Ciel forced himself into a sitting position. "I'll just have some scones and Earl Grey tea..."

"Hmm." Sebastian was surprised at this request, wondering why Ciel hadn't asked for his usual sweets. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm okay." Ciel retorted, as if he couldn't tolerate questioning of any form.

* * *

><p>Later that morning, Ciel had gone into his study and was, once again, surrounded by piles of paperwork. Normally, this didn't bother him too much, but today it only added to his tiredness and frustration.<p>

An hour and a half passed, and he wasn't even halfway done. By that time, even writing his signature was getting difficult. Having lost his concentration, he fixed his gaze upon the front door of his study. A few minutes later, the door seemed to burst into flames...

Ciel gasped, then looked around the room to find everything intact. The flaming doors had disappeared as well.

"Not again..." He mumbled, then went back to his papers. As he did, he felt his eyelids growing heavier by the second. Unable to resist, he put his head down on the table and closed his eyes.

CRASH!

Ciel jerked awake to the sound of breaking porcelain. Out in the hallway, he could hear the servants panicking and Sebastian reminding them of "The dangers of carelessness."

"I'll take care of the mess. Just go downstairs and make lunch."

As soon as Sebastian said that, Ciel glanced at the clock. _It's half past noon already..?_ He thought to himself, unaware of how much time had passed. As he considered the situation, he heard the door open.

"Please excuse the racket outside, Bocchan..." Sebastian began, but his voice trailed off when he noticed something was off about Ciel. "Are you wearing eyeliner?"

Ciel glared back in annoyance. "What kind of question is that? Of course not."

Sebastian walked over to his master and put a hand on his face. He noticed a dark circle under his visible blue eye. "How much sleep did you get last night?"

The other hesitated, wondering if he should just tell the truth. "I guess I didn't sleep very well, but I think I'll be fine. Just let me finish this."

"Bocchan, you won't get anywhere if you're tired like that. You should probably take a break."

"Don't tell me how to do my job." Ciel answered angrily. He knew Sebastian was right, though; he had to do something about his lack of energy if he was going to get through the day. "Just...don't bother me too much today."

"Very well." Sebastian said as he left the room. Ciel didn't expect him to return soon, but a few minutes later, the door opened and Sebastian came in, carrying a cup of tea.

"I thought it'd help with your drowsiness." He said as he placed the cup on Ciel's desk. Suddenly, a loud yell came from the kitchen. Sighing, Sebastian said, "Excuse me, I have other matters to attend to..." He left, shaking his head.

Ciel took a sip of his tea, and found himself feeling better within minutes. At first, he couldn't figure out what to think of this, but simply shrugged it off and returned to his work.

* * *

><p>After lunch, Ciel decided to take a walk around the mansion grounds. The garden was full of broken branches and misplaced rocks, and Finnian was looking up at him, smiling sheepishly. Ciel stared blankly at him, then kept on walking.<p>

He couldn't help but notice how unusually cold it was today; the dark clouds from that morning still darkened the afternoon sky. Although bad weather had never been an issue for Ciel, it especially depressed him at this moment.

_Why today? Why now?_ He wondered.

He sighed and sat down on a marble bench, among the flower bushes that hadn't been destroyed yet. As he reminisced about the meaning of life, he looked at the blue ring on his thumb, the family's most treasured possession. Memories began to flash through his mind...

_"Let's go play in the garden, Ciel!" Elizabeth called to her cousin, then started to run out the door of the mansion._

_"Lizzie, don't run so fast!" Ciel happily ran after her. In his excitement, he didn't pay attention to his surroundings and tripped over a stray rock, causing him to fall and scrape his elbow. Vincent Phantomhive, who had been watching for a while, ran over to him._

_"Father..it hurts.."Ciel said as he began to cry. Lizzie, in an attempt to make him feel better, hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, Ciel! I shouldn't have..."_

_"Everything's okay, Lizzie." Ciel assured her. After his cut was treated, he asked, "Do you still want to run around?"_

_Lizzie agreed, then the two headed off to the rose garden, Vincent staring adoringly at them. Some time later, Rachel Phantomhive stepped out of the manor. "Kids! It's time for lunch!"_

_"Aw, but I want to keep playing!" Lizzie whined, but Vincent assured her, "You can play with Ciel again later. It's better than letting the food just sit there and get cold."_

_Ciel smiled and followed them inside. At that time, he felt like the happiest kid in the world..._

"Bocchan." Ciel snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Sebastian's distinctive voice. "Is something the matter?"

"I was just...thinking."

"About what? Anything special?"

"No, just some stuff of the past." Ciel replied blankly. "But that kind of stuff doesn't matter to me anym-" He was cut off when a drop of water fell from the sky and onto his pale face. He abruptly stood up.

"We'll head back inside now. There appears to be a storm coming." He began to walk back to the mansion.

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian said, following.

* * *

><p><strong>That's it for my second chapter. My third chapter will be posted hopefully very soon, if nothing else gets in my way.<strong>

**Once again, I hope you've enjoyed it, and please review!**

**-BlueCotingaGirl**


End file.
